Sophie's Challenges

Well, I've been telling myself, 'you can do this' while I'm still not quite confident. I went back to doing the Drink Your Food Challenge without watching TV or listening to music which turned out to be quite challenging. I have been able to chew my food to the point of or near liquification for some time now, but my attention was not on what I was doing really. Certainly not how she talked about putting all power into the action. This training needs to be maintained, and I am known for 'resting on my laurels.'

At the very least, I can continue working on this. This may be the best gift we've gotten from Sophie. I will use it as a baseline.

I have to admit that I have been out of sorts lately, and at times overwhelmed with the realization that Sophie is really gone. I also have been looking at what it is to grieve vs. being lead into drama from the voice in my head saying how I fucked up the opportunity to learn what I could have. This is all new territory for me.

I went back to the Bob The Butler article she wrote on Dec 25th with the Rubin's Vase picture. It was there that I am starting to see that 'living in the space' is how I may be able to move forward without beating myself up for what I didn't do or didn't learn while Sophie was here.

If I have it correctly, 'living in the space' is doing what I'm doing for the sake of doing it and having no concern for how it makes me look no matter how things turn out.

Another thing I noticed is that many of us have different abilities/distinctions that the character Bob did not have, and we could potentially do so much more with what we have, if we managed to 'live in the space.'

If there is anyone reading this, I welcome your reply. We can be in this together still, while we have this forum up.

I've been doing the same, telling myself 'you can do this', while I'm not quite confident. I've been going back through my notes from my last calls with Sophie, to try to put together more about 'the space'.

Regarding what you wrote, "If I have it correctly, 'living in the space' is doing what I'm doing for the sake of doing it and having no concern for how it makes me look no matter how things turn out' (I don't know how to isolate that the way you guys do in here), I found this in my notes that might help shed more light on this:

I wrote about this because it was a tough concept for me... the first thing is regarding 'living in the space'. Sophie said there's nothing IN space, but it's more that there is a space OF something. It's for us to determine what the space is, and then 'take on' the space...flow into it and assume the shape of it, like water assuming the shape of the pitcher it's poured into. She said to 'slip into the water and be with it...find what belongs, and what doesn't'. Identify the space and then step into it. Not to change it or try to fix it, because the moment we do that we are in the faces, not the space. She added that becoming the space requires being present... there again why the Food Challenge is so critical.

What I would say, based on that call, was that if you're looking at doing what you're doing for the sake of doing it and having no concern for how it makes you look, you would be in the faces, because there is no "YOU' at all as part of the space.

I hope I'm not confusing this more. She told me, for example, that she woke up one morning, as part of the space. She looked out the window and saw a beautiful sunrise. The space was beautiful, peaceful. Then she saw the space change, and she saw the possibility of another day, but also more pain, and she cried for herself, with relief for another day and also the idea of more life, and whether she wanted that or not. She said that when she cried for herself, at that point she was a face, not a space. She said that it's possible to BE the sickness, and that's the space. The moment we want to fix it, we're not part of it... at that point we're a face.

She mentioned the movie 'Hoosiers' to be a great training about the space...primarily how the space was a certain way when the coach arrives, where there's a particular culture....and how the coach 'flows' into it and assumes the space, and little by little manages to do things how he does them, and the space changes. He doesn't jump in and try change the space....he assumes the space, becomes part of it, and then does his thing... and gradually the space changes.

I hope that makes sense and that I didn't confuse it more...I have a lot more notes to dig through, hopefully I can share more that is more clear.

OK, this is juicy. So, could it be that the space is whatever the space is at the time and moment and the idea is to step into the space as it is. Like the properties of water; just conforming to the space?

Yes, as I understood it, how you put it is exactly how she put it. The space is whatever it is at the time and moment…it could be something like support, or love, or irritability or anger… never things or people, but more like attitudes. And the idea is to step into the space as it is…to identify what it is, and then step into it and be with it, just like water conforming to the shape it flows into.

As another example, which I thought was soo interesting…one day my husband was really irritated, and it seemed directed at me. I was talking with Sophie about it…she asked me what I did. I told her I just stayed quiet, because I didn’t want to escalate it.

Sophie told me that my just being quiet was a ‘move’, no different than saying something to exacerbate it. She said saying nothing to someone who is irritated would just make them more irritated (which it did)… so I did not slip into the space & assume the shape of it…I made a move even being silent. I stayed in the faces and focused on ME not escalating HIS irritability.

She said what she would have done was to identify the space as ‘irritated’, and then stepped into it being ready to fight. Her attitude would have been ‘do you want to throw the first punch’? (Whaaat?) …She said it could be fun, and ‘juicy’…that life is fun when we can identify the space and take it on…. It’s not personal, it’s just the space.

If I look at it from the Hoosiers movie, he basically did that. He assessed the space, took on the space and assumed it, & was ready to fight. He didn’t try to change it, but he didn’t conform to the current culture that was the space. Then he continued to do his coaching the way he does it. Over time the space changed, not because he tried to change it, but because it changed as he took on the existing space and then did things the way he did them. There was nothing personal…there was only the job he had to do. No things or people, just the job.

I hope that makes sense. There’s a lot more yet around this in my notes, that I will keep digging through… she said she really wanted to share this in that workshop she wasn’t able to do.

Hi Everyone - Thank you Jodie & Baheej for keeping this forum alive -

I also have gone backer Sophie teachings that worked for me at one time or another - Your posts on the "Space" I will have to re - read the articles.

I also have gone back, Although I was still doing the chewing 40+ times I was not really being present so I have re-committed to sitting down every time I want to eat to clue me in and be present to chewing my food.

I am going over all the things that worked for me at one time or another in Sophie's work your post on the " "Space' I will have to go over the articles again but you your post triggered a memory when we first started the food challenge the first time experiencing being present and not having the attention on yourself.

My awareness was growing I allowed myself to be without judgement but there was no question of judgement there if you follow ? The "Space" was there I was there no noise bliss. I would love to know what has worked for you out of Sophie's teachings and how and why did they work for you and what you had to let go of? What you saw that made it work ? Can you articulate your beingness attuide ? just some thoughts

Trish xxx

Trish, I am SO happy to see you back here! I've been wondering how you are doing, hoping we can stay in touch and still work together here...thank you so much for being willing to continue with us.

I've been doing the same thing you mentioned with the Food Challenge... I found that once it became a habit to chew 40 times, it was also so easy to become 'mechanical' about it, to where I wasn't really being present. I've had to re-commit myself as well... It seems that without being able to be present, there can be no growth...none of the other things seem to work without that, including being able to get into the space... Sophie mentioned that a few times in our most recent calls.

I would love to hear about the things that have worked for you at one time or another...to Baheej's point, it seems we've all had something that resonated with us at one time or another and brought results, where others of us missed it...It seems like that's one area where we can really help each other.

I have created my own stumbling blocks ever since I started with Sophie. The biggest thing I've had to work on has been not allowing myself to stew about myself and what I need to do, and replacing it with doing what there is to do. It turned out this has been the main reason Sophie declared me to be her dumbest and most dense student ever...I headed down a path of how wrong I am, not realizing it was pure self-concern and entitlement. Unfortunately I was the one in her articles who actually thought it was helpful to constantly grind away on what I should be doing and what I've done wrong...that's been my big thing to give up. The only way to do it was to replace it with DOING things, anything to kick my brain out of thinking about myself and how I should be different. In my case, things like turning my attention to whoever was around me, focusing on being kind & treating people with respect, or being calm and deliberate in my actions, the same way I am when I’m deliberate with chewing. Whenever I started 'stewing', I practiced flipping my attention to another person or something I was working on, or even just turning on some music or a mindless movie...anything, whatever worked. I'm still having to practice this.

One thing I found helpful was, at different times when I started to think about myself, such as 'was I arrogant', 'was I entitled', etc., I left it at 'I am arrogant, and that's okay'. Or entitled, or whatever - it was enough to feel like that was the end of that & I could move on. I'm not sure if that was the best thing to say, but it seemed to kick me out of dwelling on it... my thought was that if I can be okay with my current state, I don't have the tension of wanting to be somewhere else, or of saying how I am is wrong. I guess it was allowing.

But I would say the biggest and most helpful thing I've been doing is creating an attitude for the day, and then re-visiting it and sometimes 'tweaking' it as I go.

As an example, one created attitude was ‘I am stupid. Lots of successful people are stupid…accomplishment comes through DOING. I am calm and deliberate in my actions. I can ask for help when I can see that I am not able.'

Then the next day, after looking at the day or reading an article, I usually changed it a bit... for example to ‘I am stupid. I can do anything exactly as stupid as I am…stupid people can do some amazing things in this world. I am calm and deliberate in my actions.

Another one after that was, ‘I am stupid. Being stupid opens the door to learning, curiosity, and a life. I am calm and deliberate in my actions, and I can ask for help when I can see that I'm not able. I'm putting all power into what I am doing, and doing things my future self will appreciate.

I'm not sure if that's helpful or not. It just helped me to re-visit every day and make small changes as I went. Most recently though, as I've been learning about 'the space' from Sophie, where there are no faces as part of the space, she recommended I change it to reflect that... for example, one of them was ''The attitude of the space is to be the best that one can be. In the space there is love, and participating in whatever makes one a worthwhile person, for one's own sake. In the space, there are no faces...one is only about the space, taking on its shape, and there are clues as to how one can grow. One can see the clues and build on them, to grow from a higher point further.'

I haven't made any great strides... this has definitely been tiny steps, day after day after day. There are failures, to be sure...I guess there will always be those. I hope this is helpful in some way... I'm looking forward to hearing what has been most helpful for you as well.

Hi Trish, thanks for jumping on with us. It seems like you experienced some favorable results when doing the Drink your food challenge the way Sophie intended. Jodie offered a generous response to your questions. As I sit here attempting to recap, I am having trouble rounding the answers up, if you will.
There was so much that I resonated with, yet so much that I did not take to unconscious competence, or even conscious competence. Ok, one teaching of hers comes to mind, now...'directing traffic.' Doing this practice deliberately has helped me tremendously, especially when being out in actual traffic.
In my arrogance and entitlement, for so long, I have looked at how people behave out in traffic as wrong; 'They shouldn't drive that...they should pay attention crossing the street,' etc. When I think about it 'directing traffic' seems similar to conforming to the space. When I approach whatever is happening by directing traffic, it takes me out of self-concern/taking it personal.

This is obviously a practice that requires ongoing application.

The example Jodie shared about interacting with her husband's irritation allows me to look deeper into working with the space. I too have a history of using silence as a move, instead of looking at what is happening in the now and doing what there is to do with my heart in the right place. Many times that is acknowledging what someone is going through in the space. I'm so grateful that Jodie shared that.

As we continue, I will do my best to share lessons that I may have gotten to some degree. Oh, there is one more thing: Becoming more present has helped me to notice more often when the 'voice' in my head is speaking which has been a life saver at times. The voice has been throwing thoughts at me (Drama, LOL) that I won't be able to have a life I love and live powerfully without Sophie. And, I see that with the Amish Horse Training, she started actually preparing us for her absence.

So, Trish, hang in there with us, and know that it is now on us to catch as much as we can seeing as how we can't just come to a call for her to put us back together again. At the very least, I am talking to myself. Love ya