10/25 My Floor

[Majeed]

I'm noticing that there seems to be more movies and tv about "injustices". I recently saw one about a group of native Indians who were being tricked, poisoned, and killed for their oil money & land. Typically, I would've just summed it all up as "It isn't fair."

What I'm starting to notice is that entitlement rocks the so called victim/me to sleep.
If I/ they think that we are supposed to have something then we won't be on the look out for what is really going on because why should we have to, it's supposed to be ours.

Here is where I see this in me. I come home in the wee hours of the morning when carjackers are most active. If I stay with 'it isn't fair' that guys are robbing working folk, I am more likely to get hurt or killed.

Things don't seem to be any different from when big cats roamed the land for prey. 'This isn't fair' would get you eaten, and it still will.

Ok, now I'm not ok with being among the people described in the article linking entitlement to cancer.
So, it's up to me to do something about it. Bear with me here; there's a lot I'm processing.

The first thing I'm realizing is I can't do this 'kind of, sort of' approach to my life. It just hasn't worked, and this is where the trying to be clever has screwed me royally. I figured I could take a thing and do a little of the other thing and voila! I'm good. WRONG!!!

I didn't see until today after reading the article that I have been entitled in saying I should be able to eat what taste good to me, even if it's not good for me. It's "oh, this little piece of donut won't hurt you, you deserve a little treat"(you're entitled to it)

Another thing I couldn't see or didn't want to see is that I can't have my life be about others if I don't take care of myself, my needs. When I have cancer or any life threatening issue, my attention is all about me. So then I become one of the pretenders when I try to become a contribution or as I said it - a resource.

The really embarrassing thing is I'm in a unique situation where I have access to everything I could ever need to be healthy - like really healthy. I see why I never signed up for the recurring health assessment plan. I wasn't interested in being responsible for my health.

I'll email you about getting the recurring health assessment and now going forward I can't lie to myself about what is happening with my health and life, for that matter.

Here's an aside: There is still a little flame in me. Last night, I met a guy who had been working on getting the right people to take on his idea. He runs an organization that trains dogs as service animals. And, one day a very polite, and mild mannered kid came up to him asked if he could pet his dog.

Well, his dog reacted by growling and barking at that kid (very unusual behavior). This guy was perplexed by the dog's reaction. So, later he found out that the polite kid was actually in the criminal system for, believe it or not, hanging dogs to death. So the trainer thought to himself: can these dogs smell something in humans that is evil or threatening? (I'm paraphrasing) The trainer would like some studies done to see if service animals can be used to detect if a person may be looking/inclined to harm others.

As the trainer went on to tell me about all he was doing, I found myself excited in sharing some ideas I had in helping him get the traction he might need. The thing is, even though I mentioned a few things he hadn't thought of, it's not that my ideas were important. I think it is that I found myself lit up in looking at what could be done. All of this is to say, 'I'm not down and out.'

Anyway, thanks for going through this long post. I've got my one job for now- Learn the pattern of entitlement.

[Sophie]

I'm noticing that there seems to be more movies and tv about "injustices". I recently saw one about a group of native Indians who were being tricked, poisoned, and killed for their oil money & land. Typically, I would've just summed it all up as "It isn't fair."

What I'm starting to notice is that entitlement rocks the so called victim/me to sleep.
If I/ they think that we are supposed to have something then we won't be on the look out for what is really going on because why should we have to, it's supposed to be ours.

Here is where I see this in me. I come home in the wee hours of the morning when carjackers are most active. If I stay with 'it isn't fair' that guys are robbing working folk, I am more likely to get hurt or killed.

Things don't seem to be any different from when big cats roamed the land for prey. 'This isn't fair' would get you eaten, and it still will.

Ok, now I'm not ok with being among the people described in the article linking entitlement to cancer.
So, it's up to me to do something about it. Bear with me here; there's a lot I'm processing.

The first thing I'm realizing is I can't do this 'kind of, sort of' approach to my life. It just hasn't worked, and this is where the trying to be clever has screwed me royally. I figured I could take a thing and do a little of the other thing and voila! I'm good. WRONG!!!

I didn't see until today after reading the article that I have been entitled in saying I should be able to eat what taste good to me, even if it's not good for me. It's "oh, this little piece of donut won't hurt you, you deserve a little treat"(you're entitled to it)

Another thing I couldn't see or didn't want to see is that I can't have my life be about others if I don't take care of myself, my needs. When I have cancer or any life threatening issue, my attention is all about me. So then I become one of the pretenders when I try to become a contribution or as I said it - a resource.

The really embarrassing thing is I'm in a unique situation where I have access to everything I could ever need to be healthy - like really healthy. I see why I never signed up for the recurring health assessment plan. I wasn't interested in being responsible for my health.

I'll email you about getting the recurring health assessment and now going forward I can't lie to myself about what is happening with my health and life, for that matter.

Here's an aside: There is still a little flame in me. Last night, I met a guy who had been working on getting the right people to take on his idea. He runs an organization that trains dogs as service animals. And, one day a very polite, and mild mannered kid came up to him asked if he could pet his dog.

Well, his dog reacted by growling and barking at that kid (very unusual behavior). This guy was perplexed by the dog's reaction. So, later he found out that the polite kid was actually in the criminal system for, believe it or not, hanging dogs to death. So the trainer thought to himself: can these dogs smell something in humans that is evil or threatening? (I'm paraphrasing) The trainer would like some studies done to see if service animals can be used to detect if a person may be looking/inclined to harm others.

As the trainer went on to tell me about all he was doing, I found myself excited in sharing some ideas I had in helping him get the traction he might need. The thing is, even though I mentioned a few things he hadn't thought of, it's not that my ideas were important. I think it is that I found myself lit up in looking at what could be done. All of this is to say, 'I'm not down and out.'

Anyway, thanks for going through this long post. I've got my one job for now- Learn the pattern of entitlement.

first off: this is a good post. thank you for it.
second: yeah, you are in the game...