Now what about my driving behavior? Well, it still needs to be checked. I noticed entitlement when I’m using my phone to set up my preference to listen to what I want while I’m driving. I behave as if it is my right to have something to listen to. I can, in fact, wait for safer conditions before I find what I want to listen to, even if the audio is supposedly instructional.
I decided to poke the bear a bit and I put on this documentary about a southern African American family who owned beachfront land that White American developers were maneuvering to take, resulting in a few family members going to jail for failure to vacate the land.
What I noticed is whenever the story focused on the matriarch’s struggle, the music was more somber- almost manipulative. I didn’t finish the documentary - I might - but entitlement in this story I found to be a little more tricky.
Yes, the family had documentation, and had taken care of the land for many generations. But, from what I can tell, and please check me if I’m incorrect, the entitlement says that ‘of course things are supposed to be this way’.
Let me attempt to expound on what I mean. For example: I can build a stone house, sturdy and all, and an even stronger tornado can rampage through and tear it to the ground. Did I make an effort to create a suitable shelter? Yes, however, life brings whatever it brings, and I am not entitled to having life unfold within the parameters of my preparations, and certainly, not my preferences.
I’m really starting to see how sneakily entitlement can become arrogance. When I think I have something that shouldn’t be, that couldn’t be taken or lost, I am arrogant and entitled, it seems.
I feel the need to say that empathy is required when you have someone who has done a notable amount of work to earn something only to have the fruits of that labor stolen.
You’ve mentioned that you don’t always get what you’ve earned, either. I obviously haven’t (earned) experienced any of this so I think it needed to be said.
On another note, I had dinner with my neighbors yesterday, and it was more challenging to chew my food fully as I was a part of the overall conversation. No big deal, but certainly an adjustment. I knew how much food to put on my plate. And of course, I’m last at the table
One last thing. I know I have no right to ask you to bear with me in all of this, as you already have for 11 years or so. The thing is I am starting to see that there are probably so many habits I have that I never knew were coming from ‘It’s not fair.'
Alex Hormozi, in a video, was making a distinction between doing your best and doing what is required. Doing what is required is a real Adult. That must be the direction. So, I have an action for this evening. Instead of the hour I would spend watching tv, I’ll go to bed earlier or work on something important to me. This is required.
